When things don’t go to plan, it’s easy to look for someone or something to blame. Joanna Scott-Aspray explores why asking ourselves a different question can be the first step towards real growth.
It’s human nature.When something doesn’t go to plan, our instinct is often to look outward before we look inward.
The event wasn’t worth attending. The networking group didn’t generate any business. The coach wasn’t as good as everyone said. The marketing didn’t work. The investment was a waste of money. Social media has changed its algorithm. AI gave me rubbish information.
We’ve all heard these conversations. Most of us have probably had them ourselves.
Sometimes they’re justified. Businesses make mistakes. Products disappoint. People over-promise. Circumstances change. Not every investment delivers what it should.
But once the frustration settles, perhaps the more important question isn’t, “Who or what is to blame?” It’s, “What part did I play?” Because there is a significant difference between buying an opportunity and making the most of one.
Joining a membership doesn’t ensure relationships. Buying a course doesn’t create knowledge. Attending an event doesn’t grow your business. Owning the latest software doesn’t make you more productive.
Every opportunity still requires effort.
Preparation. Consistency. Commitment. These are the unglamorous habits that rarely make headlines, yet they are often the difference between those who make progress and those who remain exactly where they started.
Take networking as an example. Two people can walk into the very same room. One leaves saying there was nobody worth speaking to. The other leaves with new clients, collaborations, referrals and introductions that continue to open doors months later.
The room was identical. The opportunity was identical. The difference was how each person approached it.
Did they introduce themselves? Ask thoughtful questions? Follow up afterwards? Return again? Build trust over time?
Success is rarely created in a single meeting. More often, it’s built through repeated conversations and consistent visibility. The same principle applies to technology. Artificial intelligence has become one of the easiest things to criticise. “It didn’t give me what I wanted.” Perhaps it didn’t.
But increasingly, experts are reminding us that AI is only as effective as the instructions it receives. A vague question will usually produce a vague answer. A rushed prompt often delivers a rushed result.
The quality of the output is heavily influenced by the quality of the input. Those getting extraordinary results from AI aren’t necessarily using different software. They’re asking better questions. They’re refining, challenging and improving their prompts until the response becomes genuinely useful.
That lesson extends far beyond artificial intelligence. Life often responds in much the same way. The questions we ask, the preparation we make, the effort we invest and the consistency we show all shape the results we receive.
This isn’t about accepting blame for everything that goes wrong. Some situations are genuinely outside our control. It’s about recognising the part that is within our control. Because that’s the only part we have the power to change.
The next time something falls short of expectations, resist the temptation to immediately point the finger elsewhere. Pause for a moment and ask yourself one simple question.
If I had the same opportunity again tomorrow, what would I do differently?
The answer may tell you far more than finding someone else to blame ever will.
