I’ve always loved singing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Celine Dion and I won’t be picking up a Grammy anytime soon but it fills my heart with so much joy to use my voice in this way. Strangely as a very confident performer I really don’t have any confidence as a singer, in fact I’d say my confidence was on the floor.
I’m the kind of personality that thrives off learning so I decided after years of wanting to sing that it was time to attempt to learn the craft. My god, reading music is a dark art, my brain doesn’t enjoy numbers or graphs, I get all hazy and it’s mixes them up, I’m sure if I was tested I’d have some version of dyslexia but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. As an actor I have tuned my ear into hearing the nuances of the voice so come on how hard could it be?
After a few hard but fun lessons I got a call from a dear friend Jacqui Silk who was setting up a choir! How amazing is life, if you’re open to it the right things flow to you just at the right time. I was in.
Every Wednesday night anywhere up to 30 women all from the local villages, all novices, all with open hearts and a glass of procesco in hand, met to sing. The ages ranged from 18 to 80 with such varied careers such as chefs, councillors, nurses and mums.
What a giggle we had. Let’s face it, at the start of anything things go wrong. And well, honestly we didn’t sound great. The pitch was off, people came in at the wrong time, we were self-conscious and it showed but no one judged or got upset we all just laughed and tried again taking the direction and holding space for each other. Jacs bless her was herding cats but never once gave up, what a woman!
Something magical happened in that room every week, women supporting each other to grow, to be their best selves, shining brightly together. It was a beautiful thing. Week after week we started to get better, tackling more advanced songs. The shoulders went down, the smiles were a plenty, the recordings we did even started to get played to our other halves.
Our local Revd, Canon Susan Binks, who is one of our happiest members, announced that she’d love us to perform at the Christmas carol concert. Gasp, gulp, oh gosh, urm was the initial choir reaction, adding a deeper level to rehearsals we all committed, dug deep and practised on.
The day of the concert we met in the church, giggly, nervous and full of anticipation. It was going to be a full house, all our loved ones were coming to support and the pressure was on. There was so much eye contact, smiles, hand holding and love shining out from our beautiful choir. Everyone matching each others energy in the most magnificent way. The quick rehearsal went well and our first song was up! As the church filled, so did my eyes, to be honest they are again now writing this, I had to gulp back the tears. I’m a very empathetic person at the best of times but being immersed in community joy and ultimate support was truly a beautiful thing and moved me beyond words.
Our performance was electric, we were as one, well apart from one bum note but wonderfully we all saw the funny side of that and went against human form and focused on the joy we gave to an adoring audience.
I have to say my confidence has grown more than I’d ever imagined, I’m now addicted to community wonder and we are all signed up for next year. I can’t recommend joining a choir more, I mean who doesn’t want to laugh, sing and be merry?
