How many times have you said to yourself "this week, I'll do it"? And how many times does this week turn into next week, and the week after?
Picture the scene… It’s Sunday night. You’ve just come off the scheduled phone call to your parents. The kids are finally asleep. The kitchen is cleared. You finally get the chance to sit down after a busy weekend. But you’re exhausted. The week ahead is looming. And you’ve still not had time to pick up that craft project/do the exercise/schedule that coffee with your friend.
“This week.” You tell yourself. “This week I will do it.”
But this week rolls into the next and you’re still at the bottom of the priority list.
Still putting everyone else’s needs above your own.
Still barely managing to do the basics of your own self-care, let alone having a chance to truly do things just for yourself.
Here are some reasons why you always find yourself at the bottom of the priority list…
Low self-worth
Which manifests as people-pleasing or perfectionism. Leading you to put other people’s needs and opinions before your own.
Societal influences
Leading to unrealistic expectations… spotless home, happy husband, “making memories” with children, feeding everyone healthy meals and giving them the best opportunities in life, keeping up with your social life and helping out older relatives. All whilst excelling at work and, of course, having the ideal body.
It’s become a habit.
Unless we make a conscious effort to change our habits or our environment, the way we have always done things will continue to be the way we do things.
Here’s the good news… you CAN find a better balance, and actually start doing the things that make you feel good.
Here are some ideas for how to do just that…
Start behaving as if you already believe you are worthy…
Want to do that exercise class, craft project or even just get your hair done? Just do it. You are more worthy than the pile of washing that needs doing, I promise. The more you step up and prioritise yourself, the more evidence you are giving yourself that you are worthy. And you ARE already worthy. So if you need the nudge, here it is… just do it.
Decide what’s important to you
What is important to you? Relationships? Health? Career? Something else? Think about what is most important to you. Choose just one or two key areas. Then think about how you want to show up for that area of your life. Every single day, challenge yourself with the question, “Are my actions supporting the things that are most important to me?” If health is important to you, make sure that that exercise class is prioritised above painting the hallway! Struggling to decide? Have a look at my free “The Decision-Making Framework”.
Set boundaries
Find yourself always saying yes? Picking up the slack for everyone at home? Or giving away lots of your time when you’d rather be doing something else? Have the conversations. Ask for what you need. And set boundaries around your time. If you want some help with this, check out my “Empowereed Boundaries Programme” group coaching programme, here.
Sustained change starts with small actions
So choose where to start. And take the first step. Because you get to choose what your life is like. And you are so worthy of claiming your place at the top of the priority list, alongside your loved ones.
